The Boss of You

Maria Niles links to My Open Wallet, where the question is, “What makes you feel poor?”

Is it scrimping and saving?
Is it worrying about money?
Is it having wealthier friends or family to compare yourself to?
Is it eating ramen noodles too often?
Is it counting the days between paychecks and when bills are due?
Is it the lack of some particular thing that signifies abundance?

Example: my mom grew up with very little money and always remembers the shame she felt when people came over to visit and there was no food or drink to offer them, not even a can of soda. So now she still feels poor if she doesn’t have a fridge bursting with food.

My mom grew up very poor — the second-eldest of a large farming family, she was in charge of the family finances at an early age. Every time her father got a paycheque, it was her job to distribute the money between the various shops in town where they had credit. Problem was, there was never enough to pay everyone, and she lived in fear that one day, they would lose their credit line somewhere and the whole family (eight kids, plus their Mom and Dad) would have to go without. Not only did she inherit a dread of debt and credit, she passed it along to her children.

So: when do I feel poor? When I’m carrying debt. And of course, now that I’m a proud mortgage carrier, that’s all the time.

The trick, of course, is questioning our habits. After all, a big part of me feels like having a mortgage is a sign of enormous wealth, because I never imagined I’d own real estate, even if it comes with a big debt load. Even the downpayment, and mortgage payments, seemed totally out of reach just a couple of years ago. So why do I continue to feel stretched financially, when my reality has improved vastly in the past few years?

I subscribe to the theory that you create more of what you focus on, so if you’re preoccupied with scarcity, you’ll see it everywhere. How do we move from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset? Lyne Twist has written about this, albeit with an emphasis on philanthropy. And, cheesy as it may appear, David Bach’s Finish Rich series has some really good ideas, like focusing on your values first and organizing your finances around the things that matter most to you.

One of the major lessons I’ve learned about running a business is that your money issues will smack you between the eyes on a regular basis. When you’re the one in charge of bringing money (the juice that fuels your company) in, you become very aware of the baggage you carry and the belief systems that don’t serve you. I think both Emira and I have come a long way since the early days of our business, when we often opted to “make do” with less rather than finding creative ways to invite wealth into our lives (without sacrificing our values).

How about you? When do you feel poor? When do you feel wealthy? And what helps you focus on abundance rather than scarcity?