The Boss of You

A friend of mine sent me an email recently containing several quotes from Carlos Castaneda, and a few of them struck me as particularly relevant to my work life at the moment. (I have taken the liberty of replacing every instance of “man” with “woman,” because I’m sneaky like that.)

If a warrior is to succeed at anything, the success must come gently, with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.

I like the idea of separating “effort” from “stress” and “obsession”. 2008 has been a busy year so far, but a very fruitful and enjoyable one. I’ve been working hard, even by my own fairly high standards, but I have so loved the work I’ve been doing that I’m having a hell of a good time, even while exerting myself at a pretty high level.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m a person who does more than my share of stressing and obsessing about things, but I’m working hard at releasing some of that and embracing the idea that rather than worrying about things, I’m better off either doing something to change my situation, or shifting my attention to something else.

The basic difference between an ordinary woman and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary woman takes everything as a blessing or a curse.

This is going to be my mantra when it comes to reading book reviews.

All paths are the same, leading nowhere. Therefore, pick a path with heart!

This is such a fantastic summation of my business philosophy, in some ways. What we do in the world is so small as to be almost insignificant. Of course, we can touch people’s lives, we can leave a mark on the world, we can band together to change history — these things are deeply meaningful. But at the same time, we all end up in the same place; we’re all mortal, and our capacity for making an impact on the world is finite. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a minister father (who conducted baptisms, weddings, and funerals aplenty) and a farmer’s daughter (who had her own deep connection with the cycles of life, death, and rebirth), but I’ve always had a strongly developed sense of my own mortality, and that’s had a huge influence on my choices in life.

In business, we have always followed “a path with heart,” making our everyday working lives a priority as well as the future well-being of our company and staff. Of course there is always some delayed gratification in life; we don’t often reap the rewards of our hard work right away. But we can do our utmost to make our lives enjoyable and meaningful while we work, whether that’s by doing work that’s personally meaningful, creating a positive work environment, following the no asshole rule when hiring staff and contractors (not to mention choosing clients), paying ourselves and our staff well, and/or creating businesses that engage our whole selves and that help others do the same.

A warrior never worries about her fear.

This is perhaps the most meaningful quote in the bunch for me. I love it because it doesn’t suggest we ignore or suppress our fear, just that we not worry about it. Fear is normal, healthy, and often helpful. But we do well to face our fears squarely and determine whether to listen to them or push through them. For a long time we resisted hiring staff, and that resistance was fear-based: We were afraid of the financial responsibility, of giving up control, of losing the special relationship we had with each other after years of being each other’s one and only right-hand woman at work, and of claiming the authority and power that came with being the boss of other people. It wasn’t until we’d identified every one of those fears that we began to unpack them all and gain some objectivity. We weren’t just fearful — we were worried about our fear. Now, having had that experience, we’re more aware when we’re hitting a fear wall. We don’t simply react to the fear; we’re a little wiser now, and we’re better able to recognize it and face it down.